How Staring at Tree Guts Can be Sad, Funny and Serious

Written by on April 22nd, 2014 // Filed under Erika Viktor, Uncategorized

If you think about it, reading is just staring at the mashed up guts of a tree for a really, really long time. If you count the ink, which can be made from ground up bones and crushed beetles and the rotty remains of dead plants–you can see that is a pretty weird thing to do. In fact, I betcha if you finished dinner and said: “Mom, I’m going to go up to my room to stare at beetle guts and tree innards.” You mom would probably say one of the following:

“Oh no, looks like it’s back to the personality doctor for Timmy.”


“As long as you wash your hands first!”


“Timmy, you are going to be quite a scientist some day!”


“Not until you finish your lima beans!”

I am pretty sure no one eats lima beans, nor is anyone named Timmy anymore, but that’s not the point. The point is, smashed tree goo and fish squish aren’t something you think of when you are reading a great story, right? So, by that logic, I wonder if it would be okay to start printing books on things like pork rinds and cow pies. Why not? If its a like totally awesome story then it does not matter what you write it on. At least that’s my theory. I’m going to test it out later on the smashed McDonalds french fries on my car floor. I’ll let you know how that turns out.

But the OTHER point is, I have lots of favorite tree pulp and squid ink objects (books). I thought I would write about just nine of them.



Snot StewSNOT STEW (The funny book) by Bill Wallace.

“The game of Snot Stew that Kikki the kitten’s young owners play is setting a bad example for Kikki’s brother, Toby. He’s turning into a bully — and that spells danger when he starts taunting Butch, the nasty dog on the other side of the fence. Can Kikki keep Toby from getting into big trouble? And will she have the courage to rescue him if he does?”

I hoped against hope that this was the cook book I was looking for! How sad I was to find out it was fiction. How happy I was to find out it was pure fun! Who doesn’t love a book about a cat and a dog with naughty child owners? And it isn’t about snot stew at all. No, ‘s’not.

Post script: the recipe for Snot Stew still eludes me.




NUMBER THE STARS (The serious book) by Lois Lowry

The evacuation of Jews from Nazi-held Denmark is one of the great untold stories of World War II. On September 29, 1943, word got out in Denmark that Jews were to be detained and then sent to the death camps. Within hours the Danish resistance, population and police arranged a small flotilla to herd 7,000 Jews to Sweden. Lois Lowry fictionalizes a true-story account to bring this courageous tale to life. She brings the experience to life through the eyes of 10-year-old Annemarie Johannesen, whose family harbors her best friend, Ellen Rosen, on the eve of the round-up and helps smuggles Ellen’s family out of the country.

When your teacher gives you golden stickers, you know you are special. Well, it works the same way for books! This book won a very important golden sticker called the “Newberry”.  This particular book is about a serious subject: a lot of people in danger and how some brave people saved them. It’s all about courage and risk, two things we all must face in life. Except for Timmy. He just stares at tree guts all day.

Post Script: When I was a kid I hated reading books that had dates in them. For me, dates meant they would be bor-ring! Well, this one isn’t! You will bite your nails down to your elbows, I swear it!

tuck_everlastingTUCK EVERLASTING (The sad book) by Natalie Babbitt

Everyone dies at the end. And you cry really hard. Even the cat dies. And the frog!

No wait, this is the book about nobody dying. That’s right! Especially the frog!

I ended two paragraphs with the word frog!

Now three paragraphs!

Anyway, this is in my top two or one slots for favorite sad children’s book and not one dog gets rabies in it, which is disappointing.

Doomed to—or blessed with—eternal life after drinking from a magic spring, the Tuck family wanders about trying to live as inconspicuously and comfortably as they can. When ten-year-old Winnie Foster stumbles on their secret, the Tucks take her home and explain why living forever at one age is less a blessing that it might seem. Complications arise when Winnie is followed by a stranger who wants to market the spring water for a fortune.

If it were up to me, I would give this book one hundred Erika Viktor golden stickers. And those are really rare. If anyone finds one they become the automatic queen of Jupiter and get to own their own perfume scent. It’s true.

I liked Tuck Everlasting because it was one of the first books I read that showed me what irony was. Don’t make me explain what irony is. It has something to do with getting what you didn’t want, such as socks for Christmas. Or it might be something to do with just bad things going down. Nobody can really describe what irony actually means, which actually might be ironic. No one knows. Not even someone with one hundred golden Erika Viktor stars. But I digress.

Post Script: Don’t ask me what digress means, either. I really don’t know. But I bet somewhere on your parent’s shelves there may be some smashed tree stumps and hog innards that could tell you.

3 Responses to “How Staring at Tree Guts Can be Sad, Funny and Serious”

  1. haha, “smashed tree stumps and hog innards” quite funny! lovely posts you have!

    Posted by writer dogReply
    • Thanks! I visited your blog. Love it!

      Posted by erikaviktorReply

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